* Mountainbike Militiamen Movement *

 

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The Wagon Syndrome
(It's a Disease, and an Addiction)

Symptoms

This is my bike, Old-Blue, & this is my machete, Bax, & this is my girlfriend--she don't move no more.
  • A wild, far-away look in the eyes.
  • Too much free time spent in a bike shop.
  • An unusual propensity for dragging assorted useful &/or useless objects with a bike

That's my boat.

More of Reptaro & the banana.

Treatment

  • There is no cure or treatment currently available for WS.
  • Twelve step programs for WS victims are useless & expensive.
  • If you care about someone with WS, it's important to understand they suffer from a disease.
  • The most humane thing to do with WS victims is have them put to sleep by a qualified Veterinarian, as they are filthy, disease-ridden,   sick-in-the-head animals, not suitable to interact with decent, normal people.

Camping at Rocky Glenn is idyllic, except for all the rednecks screwin' & all the tires & trash.

For even more Victims of WS visit the B.O.B Nationals Page.

 

 

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The Annual Super-Bowl Sunday Mountainbike Toy-Drag
(By, For & From Victims of the Wagon Syndrome)

You probably knew from a very young age there was something wrong with you.  You were the 6 year old kid who destroyed all his toddler ride-on toys when he figured out how to tie knots.   You couldn't figure out how to keep the wagon-handle from getting bent every time you stopped & it rammed the seatpost.  Your sister's dolls all had road-rash. You heard a lot of yelling about your bike not being a train. You are not alone anymore.   Hey it's not your fault you're stricken with WS, so screw your dysfunctional family (they never loved you anyway) and make the best out of it.   Join the Annual Super-Bowl Sunday Toy Drag this year & wear that WS with pride!

The Toy Drag started out by chance & just happened to be on Super-Bowl Sunday.   Desperately trying to avoid cheap beer & chips two or three mountainbikers headed out and found a horrendous load of trash dumped near the tracks.  The sad thing is it wasn't even trash really, it was a big pile of perfectly good toys.   Pissed at first the mountainbikers started kicking around the pile when the WS compulsion kicked in.  A Fisher Price Spider thing & a Bubble Mower were attached to the bikes with vacuum cleaner cord and the ASBSMBTD (Annual Super-Bowl-Sunday Mountain-Bike Toy-Drag) was born.  The toys rolled, flipped, dragged & caught on trees.  They dragged them through the Cowboy whoop-de-doos, the tracks, the rail-trail & ultimately down-town where the Bubble Mower struck many car fenders & eventually wrapped around a parking meter sending the rider & bike into a Wile-E-Coyote crash  that ended in a vacuum cleaner cord wrapped heap.  The rider & bike survived & the Bubble Mower was repaired just in time to terrorize a local radio personality Eric Logan (who claimed at one time to be a mountainbiker, but this has never been confirmed) & finish up with a lap around the park.  Reactions to the event were varied, some on-lookers cheered, others jeered, but all who saw noticed.  Many who were not there later expressed that they wish they had (obviously closet WS sufferers).  Unfortunately no photos of the event are known to exist.

We hope this tradition will raise WS awareness & continue to save us from cheap beer & bad commercials.  We encourage all victims of WS to participate in this yearly event.  Start your own or better yet join the original this year (if we survive the Apocalypse) held in Scranton (obviously the home of the Apocalypse), PA & not really sponsored by the Mountainbike Militiamen Movement on Super-Bowl Sunday (whenever that is).

 

 

 

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......have entered the Movement.