* Mountainbike Militiamen Movement *

I'd rather be dead than work for an INSURANCE company! Ha Ha!


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Downhill Tips with Spoolie
(the little rotted ant-infested water-logged discarded cable-spool that could)

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Lesson 1: There is no up, only down Rockhopper.

Spoolie knows the best way to learn downhill skills is repetition. Ride the course as many times as possible (in this case only once, sadly).  The best way to learn DH skills is repetition.



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Lesson 2: A Downhiller has got to know his limitations.

Whoa---whoaa--I'm OK, I'm OK, nothing's broken.

Slow down before you go into a turn, otherwise you may lose control, the good line, and even more speed. This is especially true if you insist on using useless slick tires like Spoolie does.


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Lesson 3: Keep your friends close, and enemies closer.

When racing the clock, you are your own worst enemy. In the Dual Slalom, you are your opponents worst enemy. Attain the lead early, or all is lost, but keep him close, for for he plots against you.

It's better to have a cool strategy than to actually win.


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Lesson 4: Emotion without the E is motion.

What would Shaun Palmer do? Start drinkin' and beat everybody up, that's what!

Spoolie tries to cut off Reptaro. Maintain your line when your opponent attempts to pass you--or disaster will  occur. If you can't control your bike, you can't control your life.


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Lesson 5: Now that's just disturbing.

Downhillers are emotional, usually drunk and always high. If you make them crash they will attack you violently and without mercy. Your race is over, but your fight to survive has just begun.

Offer the outraged Downhiller drugs, sex, alchohol or a free tattoo or body piercing if you want to live to descend another day.


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This series may be delayed.

Coming Soon!!! (or later)

Trials Tips

Spoolie didn't survive the attack by Reptaro.

  Spoolie hibernates in winter, but ReptarO doesn't! 
"X-treme" Snow Trials


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