* Mountainbike Militiamen Movement *


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*Cannibalism Contingency*

!!!!!!Disclaimer!!!!!! The Mountainbike Militiamen Movement strictly condemns the eating of human beings for any purpose whatsoever------------------- until after the coming apocalypse when all governments, free markets and morality falls into abysmal decay and cease to function. Cannibalism is a last resort survival contingency and the content on this page is not intended to encourage individuals to eat other people (even if they really hate them or they taste especially tangy or play soccer.) In the words (and thoughts) of Reptar ~~~~~~~~~~"Don't Do It!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Reasons Why Cannibalism is a Great Way to"Ride the Apocalypse" and is Good for the Environment

10)  Less people means more bike stuff for the rest of us!

  9)  People eating people = less people eating animals + fewer people in animal habitat (eventually the critters could even get their world back).

  8)  Muscle builds muscle!

  7)  You can make jerky from real jerks!

  6)  Tastes like......

  5)  Almost as easy to breed as "hamsters".

  4)  Over 5 billion could be served!

  3)  On really long rides you can invite someone you don’t like and; have less supplies to carry; a barbecue mid-ride; spare parts; and you get rid of someone you hate! Does it get any better?

  2)  The rest of us will have a better shot at that Publisher’s Clearinghouse  Prize, and when Ed McMahon shows up with the check—He’ll already be MARINATED!

............and the #1 reason why Cannibalism is a great way to Ride the Apocalypse and still be good for the environment:

Because it thins the herd!




  The Surgeon General has determined that eating other people is hazardous to their health and may prevent them from killing themselves with tobacco &  alcohol.


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Great Books & Videos by
Headhunter Jeff the Cannibal Chef
(He is the Julia Childs of Cannibal Cookery)

Fatten Up and Slim Down (How to Wrestle for your Food)
Buy the Book for $29.95 & you get the Video FREE!!! (a $19.95 value)

People Munchies--Real Finger Food
Buy this great snack book for only--$8.95

Cut Down on Funeral Expenses (& Still have a Killer Wake!)
Out of print.

A Cannibal's Guide to a Hassle-Free Divorce
Only available in certain countries, check your local bookstore and laws.

Eat Your Heart Out (or Better Yet, Someone Else's)
Out of Print and BANNED in over 36 countries.

Cannibal Cookery Around the World: Get the most from Ethnic Dining
This $29.95 book includes a FREE poster with all the right seasonings for any people.

Socialism Through Eating: Food Made by, for, and, from the People
Still in Manuscript form only.



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Some of Headhunter Jeff's Favorite Cooking Tips.

When preparing Vegetables make sure all catheters are removed, and with 
Fruits, always discard the lower digestive tract.

Avoid eating Nuns, Bodybuilders (steroids are harmful), people from New Jersey, anyone dead for more than 2 days, Girl Scouts (somebody's got to make the cookies), and under no circumstances should anyone ever even think about eating Regis Philbin (he's just too creepy).

One more piece of advice to all new cannibals:    Tenderize, Tenderize!



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......have entered the Movement.