* Mountainbike Militiamen Movement *

 

 

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Product Review:
Cannondale DD60 Headshok Suspension Fork

Cannondale's Needle Bearing Suspension Fork is nearly a decade old & over the years has been put through countless "bike mag" product reviews.  We felt it was time for a more comprehensive & impartial analysis, geared toward the paranoid survivalist mountainbiker of discriminating taste & special needs.

Most Headshok product reviews praised the unparalleled stiffness & whined about limited travel. There have also been reports of troublesome model years, but by and large it is widely considered a reliable, low maintenance design. Where these reviews left off is where our testing begins, at our Real World Trail Side Testing Facility / Firing Range.

Our Testing Facility / Firing Range was carefully prepared by our "Durability Engineers" in  secret to avoid   Corporate interference which could result in tainted or  biased results. 
Consequently, Cannondale never even tried to contact us.

It's even more fun to shoot at the ice-cycles that form on the rocks in winter!


We began by firing 12 rounds of 22 caliber hollow points at a range of 15 yards. At this time the fork legs sustained minor dents, but no visible cracks & dropouts remained aligned. The steer tube fared even better with only minor surface dings. We were impressed — so far.

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The second half of this testing phase proceeded at 10 yards & 60 rounds of 22 caliber hollow points were fired directly at the fork. At this time the fork legs began to show signs deformation & dropout alignment was very poor.

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While Cannondale claims that their design is "bullet proof" our   evaluation of the Headshok after 72 direct hits showed that it is merely "bullet resistant".

I wonder if they perform these tests at the C-dale Q-lab?


The valuable information gained during the first phase of testing led to the following 10 Test Phases with somewhat surprising & revealing results.

TEST

RESULT
Crushed in Vice FAIL
Dremel Tool PASS
Hacksaw FAIL
Beaten with Pipe PASS & Spanky hurt
Drill w/Titanium Bit FAIL & Hamster hurt
Propane Torch Boot FAIL/Paint PASS
Beaten with Hammer PASS (marginal)
Called Profane Names PASS (but emotionally upset)
10' Cinderblock Drop PASS
Left in Rain with torn Boot    FAIL (bearings seized)

To evaluate real world apocalyptic conditions, reconstruction of the DD60 was attempted using the most readily available materials: Sticks & Duck Tape.

Spare the Duck Tape, Spoil the Bike

While initially this seemed promising & created a very "custom" finish, the fork was incapable of supporting any load whatsoever & was deemed unsafe for the test ride phase originally  planned.

They don't make 'em like they used to--good thing.

Our overall evaluation of the Cannondale Headshok DD60 is favorable despite the several FAIL’s it received during testing. It was determined that any mountainbiker on any bike subject to these conditions would fail to function long before the DD60, as long as the bearings don’t get wet.......

 


 

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M*M*M* Durability Engineers
(A Division of the M*M*M* Angry Beaver Corp of Engineers)

True identities of Durability Engineers withheld to prevent Corporate Collusion

also uses profanity
Zarch
(firearms)

also uses firearms and trash bags
FB
(profanity)

extremely unstable: rumored to have seen "Riverdance"
Spanky
(deconstruction)


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