* Mountainbike Militiamen Movement *


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The man gets pissed when you dance on his property.

Here at the M.M.M. we know it's tough out there on the trails, so when that no-good, sonofabitchen bastard landowner gets you down, just do this little dance and take off.  Then go back later and blow up his car.  Trust us you'll feel better, and so will we.  You can build your own flaming molotov cocktail water bottles from our plans in the near future.  Of course, this for informational purposes only.  Dancing is illegal in some states, so check local laws before dancing or blowing up anything.

Mountainbike Militiamen Movement's Murphy's Laws of Mountainbiking


"Ride the Apocalypse!"

"Sometimes it's better to ride alone than walk together."

"Any ride you finish outside of the chalk line is a good ride."

"If Cars-R-Coffins, then let us be the pallbearers."

"Ride as if you'll live forever.  Ride as if you'll die today."

"Yes, puppies do run fast."

"Ride the Cold!"

"Ride Free, by any means necessary."

"Eat your dirt! It's good for ya'!"


The Cannibalism Contingency


"You have to survive in order to ride."---The Unknown Mountainbiker


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......have entered the Movement.